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Air Zimbabwe
History Air Zimbabwe was established in May 2008, after Toast-Antarctica Airways went bankrupt. Air Zimbabwe is the second successor to the extremely successful airline of the time before the great blackout, Air Toast. Air Zimbabwe is headed by their CEO, Korbert Toast, the former general manager of the controversial TOAST Alliance. Currently, Air Zimbabwe is a proud part of the revived TOAST International Alliance, of which Korbert Toast is the General Manager. Air Zimbabwe occasionally grounds its planes for long extended periods of time, just to annoy its customers. In the words of CEO Korbert Toast, "Don't complain about delays, unless you wanna try flying the damn plane." Destinations Air Zimbabwe also flies to several destinations as regular scheduled service, in addition to their World Tour. Their current destinations are Calgary, Portland, Salt Lake City, the newly added Toronto, and in Europe, Cairo, Antalya, Rome, and Athens. Air Zimbabwe is starting a pilot project of flights in Asia, with an A318 flying between Kuala Lumpur and Bangkok. The TOAST International Alliance hopes to soon open a hub in North America, which Air Zimbabwe would fly to regularly. World Tour Air Zimbabwe has embarked on a tour of the world, stopping in 70 different cities. Their A320, which contains an ice cream machine, is flying all around the world to get someone to please, shoot that idiot Robert Mugabe. Fleet Air Zimbabwe currently operates a fleet of Airbus aircraft, with an A320 and A318s. They are proud to be one of the few operators of these amazing A318 aircraft. All of their aircraft are equipped with minimal legroom, and in-seat radio (FAN 960). Free toast, alcohol, and black licorice is handed out on every flight, to all passengers above the age of 2. Babies are not permitted aboard the cabin of the aircraft, but they are welcome to travel in the cargo hold in a crate, or be strapped to one of the wings with a complimentary rope. Gags for annoying, loud children are provided. Great Deals Air Zimbabwe offers amazing deals on flights when you pay with cheques where the amount can be altered, when you pay with your credit card number over our "secure" booking site, or when you just bribe us. Now, for a limited time only, fly free when you park your car in our express "secure" parking lot! Or, for all of you people who are environmentally conscious, you can choose to forgo your flight and instead use our new, patented, environmentally friendly method of travel, which we call "Limb Locomotion for Extended Travel", commonly referred to by some as "walking," although both are trademarked. If you choose to "walk" to your destination instead of flying on one of our gas-guzzling planes, we will give you a 10% discount on your ticket! The Low Fat Airline You never would have thought it, but the airline that you fly with actually does affect how much weight you can lose! Air Zimbabwe is the Low Fat Airline! We will help you lose weight and become as skinny and sexy as those models on TV! We provide a conveniently-located storage closet at the back of our planes where we will lock all of our passengers for 5 days without food! It's not cruelty, it's innovation! Air Zimbabwe uses the science of medicinal anorexia to help you become thinner! Air Zimbabwe is the slim and sexy airline! Category:Airlines